Recxpectation: Heart Eyes

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“Heart Eyes” - New Thing #1 - is a hybird rom-com / horror / comedy that features a killer who goes after couples on Valentine’s Day.

DON’T EXPECT: COMMITMENT TO A GAG
”Heart Eyes” is a film that seems like it wasn’t to satirize rom-coms and horror films but it doesn’t really stick to an approach. It sets up things that could be satire but then just plays it straight. It doesn’t really do much to turn rom-coms or horror films on its head. It doesn’t really combine the genres; it kind of just throws rom-com moments into a horror film. It’s mostly just kind of a cheesy version of both genres, highlighted by their go-to gag of playing really cheesy love songs to show how over-the-top they are being. The film also throws in a couple of random movie references; the jokes landed even if they felt forced in. The film did pick up some steam at the end with at least a few people in the audience started laughing out loud.
The film isn’t that different from the director’s previous movie, “Freaky” - a body swap / horror hybrid that was good enough but didn’t really make the most of the body swap angle.

EXPECT: A SLOW START
”Heart Eyes” starts off like so many horror films do but after that, it’s a long wait until things get going again. The next 40 minutes or so are basically the rom-com portion of the film and well, let’s just say you can feel free to go to the bathroom at any time during this section.

DON’T EXPECT: ANYTHING ALL THAT MEMORABLE
Ultimately, if you go in with low expectations, “Heart Eyes” does the trick of killing a couple of hours. Beyond that, it’s a movie that is competent, Nothing glaringly bad, like a Sony Spider-verse movie, but also nothing that you’ll talk about for too long once the movie is done.

Recxpectations: Conclave

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Conclave (New Thing #5) is a film that takes us inside the Vatican and the election of a new Pope.

EXPECT: A LIBERAL FEVER DREAM
Megyn Kelly did her new schtick of getting DEEPLY offended by things as she claimed that Conclave hates Catholics, but I don’t agree. The film hates Catholics like Megyn Kelly. It’s very much opposed to the conservative wing of the Church.
So why am I, a fairly liberal fella, saying to expect a liberal fever dream? The film starts out as a kind of inside look into debates about the Church and its direction for the future but it quickly shifts gears and becomes more about palace intrigue and House of Cards-like maneuvering. By the end, it’s pretty much a full-on soap opera and wish fulfillment of liberal Catholics. I found it downright silly and completely unrealistic.

DON’T EXPECT: A THRILLER
I saw a couple places label this movie as a thriller but I found it to be anything but. Yes, it’s a tense drama at times but I don’t think it’s an edge-of-your-seat type movie. Similarly, it’s not much of a Whodunnit. It’s closer to a Columbo-style approach where you pretty much know who did what but they need to find a way to prove it but the proving it is never very difficult. More often than not, the question is “Should we look into it?”

DON’T EXPECT: THEOLOGICAL DEBATE
There are some monologues for each side - mostly the left - but, as I noted, that falls by the wayside once the focus becomes the palace intrigue. But my biggest disappointment was that it was pretty much just monologues. There wasn’t any debate between the principles. And, sadly, this is probably the most realistic thing about the movie. There aren’t many debates nowadays, just people lecturing their opinions to others and refusing to listen to any other opinions.

Ultimately, I found Conclave to be fine - this feels like, if there was a Black Mirror for Catholic church issues, this would be the premiere of season 3 (after they’ve used up their best material for the first two seasons.) In the end, though, I think I’m going to have to throw this near the top of the Not For Me list in 2025. (I know, it came out in 2024 but I saw it in 2025.)

Trades I'd Like To See - Zion to Atlanta

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We’re inching closer to the NBA Trade Deadline and the fake trades are filling up social media. I love fake trades even though I’m probably too often a critic of them and I often hold fake trades up to the “Is it fair for both teams?” standard which is unrealistic. Online, we go over every trade, trying to make it right for everyone but, in reality, most NBA trades seem lopsided. Most actual trades would be roundly rejected had a fan suggested them online. Fair trades are much harder to find than trades that have a clear winner and loser.

This time around, I’m just going to present trades that I’d like to see. I apologize to the fans who are offended that I would have their teams get back so little for a player they love, but I feel like these are moves that would improve the NBA. So, Trade #1 is going to be…

ZION TO ATLANTA
Zion Williamson doesn’t want to be in New Orleans. We all know it. His latest suspension is just another example of why The Zion Era is never going to be a thing for the Pelicans. And shouldn’t Pelicans fans be used to this by now? Their Eras are: Baron Davis, Chris Paul, Anthony Davis, and now Zion. Their logo should be an origami Pelican because some of the rosters look cool on paper but never really amount to anything.

Anyway, Zion wants to be on the Knicks, but I’m not seeing it. It pains me to say this as a Celtics fan, but I like the Knicks roster. They are a fun team and I’m not sure if Zion is going to fit in their chemistry-wise. But an even bigger issue is that teaming Zion with Tom Thibodeau, the king of running players into the ground, is a recipe for disaster.
So if Zion can’t go to NY, why not send him to team up with New York’s Public Enemy #1?

The Atlanta Hawks trade Zaccharie Risacher, Onyeka Okungwu, Kobe Bufkin, Lakers’ 2025 unprotected pick, Kings’ 2025 Top 12 protected pick, 2027 NO/MIL pick that Pels owe to the Hawks, and a conditional Hawks pick (depending on how many games Zion plays in the next two seasons.)

Pelicans fans will scream bloody murder because it’s not a great return for a potential Face of the Franchise, but, again, these aren’t trades I think are even, they are trades I want to see. And also, I just think the Pelicans need to shift to Process mode. It’s time to move on from Brandon Ingram, CJ McCollum, and even Dejounte Murray, who never really got a chance to make an impact in N’Awlins. The top-level talent in the next few drafts seems to have Franchise Star potential so there’s no better time than now to hit rock bottom.

And, yes, Jalen Johnson is the obvious target in an Atlanta trade, but I want to see Jalen alongside Zion. I want to see Trae Young running and creating with two high flyers like Zion and Jalen. Also, I have to add that I’m not a believer in Zion. I don’t know if he’ll ever put it all together, so I’m not sure that top teams, like the Knicks, should roll the dice on him. Atlanta seems to be the perfect middle-ground team that could gamble on him helping get them to the next level. They need to find a Buy Low opportunity and there may be no better option out there on that front than Zion Williamson.

Recxpectations: September 5

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“September 5” (New Thing #4) takes the audience inside the control room of ABC Sports, who faces the daunting task of covering the hostage situation at the 1972 Munich Olympics.

EXPECT: A TENSE FILM, NOT A THRILLER
September 5 is compelling but because it focuses so much on the journalistic integrity angle more than the hostage situation, it’s more compelling than it is thrilling. Not to say that it doesn’t have it’s moments and still isn’t tense but I feel like people going in expecting an edge-of-your-seat thriller might be let down, especially by how much of the film is the details of the TV production.

EXPECT: STRONG, NOT SHOWY PERFORMANCES
An unrecognizable (to me, at least) Ben Chapin gets the most to work with but for the most part, everyone disappears into their roles. Well, I guess Peter Sarsgaard is Peter Sarsgaard but I feel like I always still buy him in his roles even when a lot of them are quite similar.

EXPECT: A TAUT STORY
September 5 clocks in at 95 minutes. Things get going pretty quickly and the pace is pretty steady throughout. The film opens with an explanation of the tech at work but I do wonder how younger audiences will respond given that the world has changed so much since this took place. The storyline focusing on networks sharing the live feed satellite and the crew waiting around until they can air live as opposed to not immediately jumping on the air to cover the on-going news might seem unreal given how people can stream from their phones nowadays.

Recxpectations: The Nickel Boys

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The Nickel Boys (New Thing #3) is based on Colson Whitehead’s 2019 novel inspired by the horrific findings at the site of the Dozier School for Boys site in the early 2010’s. The film mostly takes place in the 1960s and flashes forward to modern day.

EXPECT: FIRST PERSON POV
The film shifts between the first-person POV of the two lead characters, the cynical Turner (who has learned to play the game to make things better for himself at the school) and Elwood, a young man who is yearning to change the world and is only in trouble because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m not sure how I feel about the first person approach - it definitely makes the film more interesting but I wondered if, at times, it didn’t create more of a separation. It never feels gimmicky but I’m not sure it really elevated things either.

DON’T EXPECT: FLOWERY DIALOGUE
The Nickel Boys is very much a slice-of-life type film, and the dialogue stays true to the locale and the characters. This isn’t an Aaron Sorkin film where, inexplicably, everyone speaks in snappy one-liners and eloquent monologues. It’s blunt and to the point.

EXPECT: AN ADMIRABLE FILM, NOT AN ENJOYABLE ONE
I mean, given the subject matter of brutality at the Boy’s School, it shouldn’t be a surprise that this film isn’t necessarily a “crowd pleaser” but - again, probably because I kind of bumped on the first-person POV approach - it was a film I appreciated more than I was moved by. There’s also a story element that emerges midway through the film that I didn’t think really worked to elevate things.

EXPECT: AN ART FILM
I don’t believe this is a film that will have much crossover appeal. I wouldn’t say that the film preaches to the choir, but it’s a film that will be beloved by the target audience and could fall flat for the mainstream audience and skeptics.

New Thing #2: Alien: Romulus

Not a great way to kick off the new year.

SPOILERS FOR ALIEN: ROMULUS AHEAD

I went into Alien: Romulus with fairly low expectations, and the first hour was OK, but man, the back half of the movie seems like it is trying to get exponentially worse with every scene. The entire last section with Kay and her baby could have been cut out altogether, and the film would be no worse.

When it comes to Alien (or Predator) movies, I feel like Hollywood needs to remember the old acronym K.I.S.S - “Keep it simple, Stupid!” These films don’t need to do too much to be entertaining. If you’re heading into the back half of a film and need a long expository scene to explain a plot development, you’re doing it wrong.

I also feel like this film makes the cardinal sin of confusing the two first Alien movies. Romulus seems like it wants to be a horror movie but then it adds tons of aliens, which worked in Aliens because that was an action film. In my opinion, there isn’t a single scene in this film that is better because there are multiple aliens involved. If they had just one or maybe two or three, it would have been scarier. Even the zero-G acid blood scene would be better if they played with just a little blood, but we show our hero struggling to move rather than watching her easily bounce around for most of it.

Hollywood needs to learn from every parent who has spent hundreds of dollars on presents only to have their children end up playing with the empty box that the toys came in. Sometimes, simpler things that leave room for the imagination are more entertaining.

Also, one of my pet peeves is Just because you can do it with CGI doesn’t mean you should. For me, the entire final forty or so minutes of the film was so reliant on CGI that it just wasn’t scary at all. I was mostly hoping the film would end already. Similarly, I get that they wanted a callback but just cast a new actor in the Ian Holm role. (Oh, and the “Get away from her, you bitch” callback might be the corniest callback of all-time.)

Anyway, I’ve got Nickel Boys and September 5 coming up in the next couple of days so hopefully my 2025 film list will start getting some green on there. Next up on the rental queue are: The Substance, Small Things Like These, Conclave, Juror #2, Rumours, Smile 2, Tar, My Old Ass, Cuckoo, and Oddity.

New Thing #1 - White Elephant

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One thing that the 500 New Things Challenge will likely get me to do is try out all of the nearby restaurants that I kept putting off. So for New Year’s Day lunch, I decided to try out White Elephant, a Thai restaurant in the little hallway between 5th/6th and Spring/Broadway. The more popular spots in the same space are Guisado’s and the brunch favorite Blu Jam Cafe. (Apparently, the space is called The Spring Arcade.)

I hate to pass judgement on a restaurant after one visit - especially since I have a knack for ordering the wrong thing at restaurants - so I’m going to give White Elephant another chance but the first time here was only OK. I ordered one of the specials, Honey BBQ pork, which was fine. The flavor was very subtle, so when paired with plain rice noodles, there wasn’t much to write about.

Spring Arcade is also home to L’Appart, another long time member of the To Do list, so I’ll probably try that before I go back for seconds at White Elephant. So it’s not off the list but it certainly hasn’t earned a spot on The List yet. My guess is that it’ll end up in the realm of “Oh yeah, I’ve eaten there…”

The Return of 500 New Things

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One thing I’ve wanted to try again in 2025 was my challenge to do 500 new things in a year. My previous attempt went well; I got to around 430 before tapping out for the holidays. The challenge worked as a great excuse to force myself to get out and break from the rut of the same ‘ol, same ‘ol. Especially with work being remote now, I find it very easy to just sit inside all day and maybe head out to go to the same spots to pick up lunch. My level of inactivity this year was pretty bad and this’ll be a good kick in the butt to get out there and explore the world more.

The funny thing about this challenge - which I invite everyone else to attempt, even if it’s just 100 new things or one new thing a week, or whatever you’re comfortable with - is that one of the first things that people do when they hear about it is try to litigate the rules. It’s crazy to me how people feel the need to put their own mark on something that has nothing to do with them. It’s my challenge! If you do it, it’s YOUR challenge, nobody else needs to judge it. If it gets you out of the house or helps you expand your world in some way, it’s a win!

As for rules, I don’t have a ton of set rules but there has to be some sort of time investment for a new thing to count. For instance, for music, I count concerts of bands I’ve never seen live before but not new songs. I didn’t count albums last year and probably still won’t this time but I could see how others would allow it. For a TV show to count, I need to watch at least 5 episodes. For bars, I need to stay for about an hour. One odd one is that I counted new shoe brands but not new clothing brands. I just feel like there’s a bigger difference when it comes to shoes. But I’d need to wear the shoes for a good week before counting them. Books have to be completed to count. When it came to food products, I played it by ear. New hot sauces counted; if I just bought a different brand of steak or chicken wings, I didn’t count it.

The other good thing about this challenge is that it promotes travel because there’s no better way to knock out a ton of new things a day than to go to a different city. Even a nearby town you never visit offers a lot of opportunities to knock out New Things.

The one warning I’d give to anyone attempting this is to not get TOO focused on it. There were times when I first did it that I’d get annoyed with friends if they wanted to go to one of our usual spots because IT’S NOT SOMETHING NEW! Especially near the end of the year, the challenge was adding a little agita to my life, which is why I tapped out; that’s the opposite of what the challenge is supposed to do. So if you start the challenge and it feels like a burden, I’d recommend dialing down the amount of new things you want to try or change the timeframe up. We’ve all got so much going on in our lives; this is supposed to add fun, not another annoyance. (Honestly, 500 is probably too aggressive but hey, not reaching that number isn’t really a failure if the challenge gets me to try a lot of new things.)

The hope is that I’ll keep blogging and keep tally of my new things here.

Anyway, everyone is invited to join the challenge or create their own in 2025!

New Year, New Blog Attempt

I only made it to February with my last blog attempt but, in my defense, 2024 was a tough one and blogging quickly plummeted down my list of priorities. But with the new year upon us, I’m going to give it another go. I toyed with the idea of starting up Tik Tok again but I’m not THAT committed to this and I also prefer the written word over hearing my voice.

I’m sticking with the minimalist approach for now. Maybe I’ll jazz up the site later.

So here goes nothing. That’ll probably end up being literally nothing as the blog falls to the wayside again but let’s see if I can’t keep it going in 2025.
And to add some flair to the post, here’s some recent art that went up in the neighborhood.