TRADE DEADLINE MADNESS!

NBA blogging is back! Well, for one post. It’s nearing the NBA Trade Deadline and who doesn’t love fake trades, I mean besides everyone. Fake trades are like farts; nobody thinks theirs stink as bad as other people’s, which they think REALLY stink. But the one thing to always remember about fake trades is that often, if not most of the time when REAL trades happen, everyone is stunned and thinks one team got fleeced. As much as we should try to keep fake trades fair, there’s really no underestimating the crappiness of NBA general managers.

So let’s break down some deals that I think should happen to shake up the NBA.

If I’m Atlanta, I’m only including Dejounte Murray in blockbuster deals that bring me back a legit second star to go alongside Trae Young. Yes, the Hawks need to cut some salaries if they want to re-sign Saddiq Bey and extend Jalen Johnson but dumping their second-best player? That’s a terrible move. DeAndre Hunter and Bogdan Bogdanovic on the other hand…
Neither of these guys has a bad contract by modern NBA standards but Bey’s taken over Hunter’s minutes and Bogdan is 31 and this Hawks franchise is mired in NBA purgatory right now - not good enough to contend or even host a playoff series but not bad enough to get a top pick in the draft.
Enter Tobias Harris - a good player who can help the Hawks maintain some hope of making the play-in game this year but is on an expiring contract so he’ll help clean up the Hawks’ future payroll. Atlanta might want another first-round pick, which could be a deal breaker. Or maybe replace Bogdanovic with Clint Capela and look to move him to a third team. My proposal might not get it done but I think there’s a deal to be made between these two.

With Tobias gone, the Sixers fill his void by giving up an unprotected future Clippers pick with two expiring contracts for Jerami Grant. Portland probably won’t do this but Portland is tanking wrong. The team has 14 wins and is somehow only 4 million under the luxury tax. Next year’s ledger has 161 million dollars (meaning adding a top pick could push them over the tax) and the following year is still 140+ million owed. Tanking shouldn’t be this expensive.
The Blazers should be looking to dump as many veteran contracts as possible. Again, maybe they push for another pick but I just don’t think Grant is worth it, especially at his contract. He’s a nice player and you can grin and bear it with his contract if you’re winning games.
Philly phanatics might not love adding questionable contracts when they’re finally getting out from under Tobias’s deal but next year’s free agent class is questionable at best so I’d rather make a push now rather than waste another year of Embiid and risk whiffing in free agency.

I don’t believe that any serious NBA franchise should trade for Zach LaVine’s contract. It’s a killer. Luckily for Chicago, the Charlotte Hornets exist and they are as unserious of an organization as one can be (besides the Oakland A’s, of course.)
This trade swaps arguably the worst contract in the NBA for arguably the worst human in the NBA. Charlotte doesn’t get better IMO but they do get more exciting so hopefully their annoying announcer loses his voice and spares us his histrionics. Chicago gets out from under Zach’s deal and looks to go back to the Baby Bulls 4.0 (or 5.0, there’s been a lot of reboots in Chicago.)

Detroit’s been annoying about not trading Bojan but c’mon, already. Let the guy play on a team that has a shot. Julius Randle’s injury creates a need for New York and the elder Bogdanovic can hold down some small ball PF minutes. He also adds a sniper from the perimeter who can complement the other Knicks (and can play alongside Randle when he gets healthy.) A Dallas first and Detroit getting it’s 2nd rounder should be enough. I might throw in another 2nd round pick if Detroit’s holding out for more but that’s it.

I know, I know. Orlando has a glut of point guards but none of them are as good as Brogdon and I think they need a veteran floor general to help this team make the next step. And all it costs them is a Denver first round pick and Okeke, who showed promise once upon a time but now is a forgotten man.

The Bulls add a new young SG in Moses Moody and clear off a couple more contracts (Chris Paul’s contract isn’t guaranteed next season). They also could look to swing Paul to a third team and maybe pick up a draft pick or prospect in return. I’d also throw in conditional first from Golden State dependent on whether Lonzo ever plays again.
This trade is also a Threads special as the deal opens up more playing time for Andre Drummond in Chicago while it move Cory Joseph out of the Bay Area. CoJo might be the most maligned end of rotation player on the NBAThreads.

It’s not an NBA trade deadline without a John Collins rumor! Collins isn’t really doing much in Utah so they ditch some of his salary and grab some 2nd rounders while Pop sees if he can unlock John’s potential that has completely disappeared over the years.

Washington probably demands a first round pick here and I’d consider giving it up but mostly, I’m excited about Washington changing their name back to the Bullets because Cam Thomas and Jordan Poole ‘bout to be GUNNING! I’m not a believer in Cameron Johnson, which is why I’d give up the first round pick if pushed. Kuzma is simply better and Tyus Jones is no slouch (although he’s been one of the bigger disappointments this year for me. He’s not having the breakout I expected.)
Clearly, I’m starting to get tired and the deals are getting goofier but seriously, #FREECAM.