Recxpectations: Conclave

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Conclave (New Thing #5) is a film that takes us inside the Vatican and the election of a new Pope.

EXPECT: A LIBERAL FEVER DREAM
Megyn Kelly did her new schtick of getting DEEPLY offended by things as she claimed that Conclave hates Catholics, but I don’t agree. The film hates Catholics like Megyn Kelly. It’s very much opposed to the conservative wing of the Church.
So why am I, a fairly liberal fella, saying to expect a liberal fever dream? The film starts out as a kind of inside look into debates about the Church and its direction for the future but it quickly shifts gears and becomes more about palace intrigue and House of Cards-like maneuvering. By the end, it’s pretty much a full-on soap opera and wish fulfillment of liberal Catholics. I found it downright silly and completely unrealistic.

DON’T EXPECT: A THRILLER
I saw a couple places label this movie as a thriller but I found it to be anything but. Yes, it’s a tense drama at times but I don’t think it’s an edge-of-your-seat type movie. Similarly, it’s not much of a Whodunnit. It’s closer to a Columbo-style approach where you pretty much know who did what but they need to find a way to prove it but the proving it is never very difficult. More often than not, the question is “Should we look into it?”

DON’T EXPECT: THEOLOGICAL DEBATE
There are some monologues for each side - mostly the left - but, as I noted, that falls by the wayside once the focus becomes the palace intrigue. But my biggest disappointment was that it was pretty much just monologues. There wasn’t any debate between the principles. And, sadly, this is probably the most realistic thing about the movie. There aren’t many debates nowadays, just people lecturing their opinions to others and refusing to listen to any other opinions.

Ultimately, I found Conclave to be fine - this feels like, if there was a Black Mirror for Catholic church issues, this would be the premiere of season 3 (after they’ve used up their best material for the first two seasons.) In the end, though, I think I’m going to have to throw this near the top of the Not For Me list in 2025. (I know, it came out in 2024 but I saw it in 2025.)