Recxpectation: Heart Eyes

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“Heart Eyes” - New Thing #1 - is a hybird rom-com / horror / comedy that features a killer who goes after couples on Valentine’s Day.

DON’T EXPECT: COMMITMENT TO A GAG
”Heart Eyes” is a film that seems like it wasn’t to satirize rom-coms and horror films but it doesn’t really stick to an approach. It sets up things that could be satire but then just plays it straight. It doesn’t really do much to turn rom-coms or horror films on its head. It doesn’t really combine the genres; it kind of just throws rom-com moments into a horror film. It’s mostly just kind of a cheesy version of both genres, highlighted by their go-to gag of playing really cheesy love songs to show how over-the-top they are being. The film also throws in a couple of random movie references; the jokes landed even if they felt forced in. The film did pick up some steam at the end with at least a few people in the audience started laughing out loud.
The film isn’t that different from the director’s previous movie, “Freaky” - a body swap / horror hybrid that was good enough but didn’t really make the most of the body swap angle.

EXPECT: A SLOW START
”Heart Eyes” starts off like so many horror films do but after that, it’s a long wait until things get going again. The next 40 minutes or so are basically the rom-com portion of the film and well, let’s just say you can feel free to go to the bathroom at any time during this section.

DON’T EXPECT: ANYTHING ALL THAT MEMORABLE
Ultimately, if you go in with low expectations, “Heart Eyes” does the trick of killing a couple of hours. Beyond that, it’s a movie that is competent, Nothing glaringly bad, like a Sony Spider-verse movie, but also nothing that you’ll talk about for too long once the movie is done.

Recxpectations: Conclave

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Conclave (New Thing #5) is a film that takes us inside the Vatican and the election of a new Pope.

EXPECT: A LIBERAL FEVER DREAM
Megyn Kelly did her new schtick of getting DEEPLY offended by things as she claimed that Conclave hates Catholics, but I don’t agree. The film hates Catholics like Megyn Kelly. It’s very much opposed to the conservative wing of the Church.
So why am I, a fairly liberal fella, saying to expect a liberal fever dream? The film starts out as a kind of inside look into debates about the Church and its direction for the future but it quickly shifts gears and becomes more about palace intrigue and House of Cards-like maneuvering. By the end, it’s pretty much a full-on soap opera and wish fulfillment of liberal Catholics. I found it downright silly and completely unrealistic.

DON’T EXPECT: A THRILLER
I saw a couple places label this movie as a thriller but I found it to be anything but. Yes, it’s a tense drama at times but I don’t think it’s an edge-of-your-seat type movie. Similarly, it’s not much of a Whodunnit. It’s closer to a Columbo-style approach where you pretty much know who did what but they need to find a way to prove it but the proving it is never very difficult. More often than not, the question is “Should we look into it?”

DON’T EXPECT: THEOLOGICAL DEBATE
There are some monologues for each side - mostly the left - but, as I noted, that falls by the wayside once the focus becomes the palace intrigue. But my biggest disappointment was that it was pretty much just monologues. There wasn’t any debate between the principles. And, sadly, this is probably the most realistic thing about the movie. There aren’t many debates nowadays, just people lecturing their opinions to others and refusing to listen to any other opinions.

Ultimately, I found Conclave to be fine - this feels like, if there was a Black Mirror for Catholic church issues, this would be the premiere of season 3 (after they’ve used up their best material for the first two seasons.) In the end, though, I think I’m going to have to throw this near the top of the Not For Me list in 2025. (I know, it came out in 2024 but I saw it in 2025.)

Recxpectations: September 5

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“September 5” (New Thing #4) takes the audience inside the control room of ABC Sports, who faces the daunting task of covering the hostage situation at the 1972 Munich Olympics.

EXPECT: A TENSE FILM, NOT A THRILLER
September 5 is compelling but because it focuses so much on the journalistic integrity angle more than the hostage situation, it’s more compelling than it is thrilling. Not to say that it doesn’t have it’s moments and still isn’t tense but I feel like people going in expecting an edge-of-your-seat thriller might be let down, especially by how much of the film is the details of the TV production.

EXPECT: STRONG, NOT SHOWY PERFORMANCES
An unrecognizable (to me, at least) Ben Chapin gets the most to work with but for the most part, everyone disappears into their roles. Well, I guess Peter Sarsgaard is Peter Sarsgaard but I feel like I always still buy him in his roles even when a lot of them are quite similar.

EXPECT: A TAUT STORY
September 5 clocks in at 95 minutes. Things get going pretty quickly and the pace is pretty steady throughout. The film opens with an explanation of the tech at work but I do wonder how younger audiences will respond given that the world has changed so much since this took place. The storyline focusing on networks sharing the live feed satellite and the crew waiting around until they can air live as opposed to not immediately jumping on the air to cover the on-going news might seem unreal given how people can stream from their phones nowadays.

Recxpectations: The Nickel Boys

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The Nickel Boys (New Thing #3) is based on Colson Whitehead’s 2019 novel inspired by the horrific findings at the site of the Dozier School for Boys site in the early 2010’s. The film mostly takes place in the 1960s and flashes forward to modern day.

EXPECT: FIRST PERSON POV
The film shifts between the first-person POV of the two lead characters, the cynical Turner (who has learned to play the game to make things better for himself at the school) and Elwood, a young man who is yearning to change the world and is only in trouble because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m not sure how I feel about the first person approach - it definitely makes the film more interesting but I wondered if, at times, it didn’t create more of a separation. It never feels gimmicky but I’m not sure it really elevated things either.

DON’T EXPECT: FLOWERY DIALOGUE
The Nickel Boys is very much a slice-of-life type film, and the dialogue stays true to the locale and the characters. This isn’t an Aaron Sorkin film where, inexplicably, everyone speaks in snappy one-liners and eloquent monologues. It’s blunt and to the point.

EXPECT: AN ADMIRABLE FILM, NOT AN ENJOYABLE ONE
I mean, given the subject matter of brutality at the Boy’s School, it shouldn’t be a surprise that this film isn’t necessarily a “crowd pleaser” but - again, probably because I kind of bumped on the first-person POV approach - it was a film I appreciated more than I was moved by. There’s also a story element that emerges midway through the film that I didn’t think really worked to elevate things.

EXPECT: AN ART FILM
I don’t believe this is a film that will have much crossover appeal. I wouldn’t say that the film preaches to the choir, but it’s a film that will be beloved by the target audience and could fall flat for the mainstream audience and skeptics.

New Thing #1 - White Elephant

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One thing that the 500 New Things Challenge will likely get me to do is try out all of the nearby restaurants that I kept putting off. So for New Year’s Day lunch, I decided to try out White Elephant, a Thai restaurant in the little hallway between 5th/6th and Spring/Broadway. The more popular spots in the same space are Guisado’s and the brunch favorite Blu Jam Cafe. (Apparently, the space is called The Spring Arcade.)

I hate to pass judgement on a restaurant after one visit - especially since I have a knack for ordering the wrong thing at restaurants - so I’m going to give White Elephant another chance but the first time here was only OK. I ordered one of the specials, Honey BBQ pork, which was fine. The flavor was very subtle, so when paired with plain rice noodles, there wasn’t much to write about.

Spring Arcade is also home to L’Appart, another long time member of the To Do list, so I’ll probably try that before I go back for seconds at White Elephant. So it’s not off the list but it certainly hasn’t earned a spot on The List yet. My guess is that it’ll end up in the realm of “Oh yeah, I’ve eaten there…”

The Return of 500 New Things

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One thing I’ve wanted to try again in 2025 was my challenge to do 500 new things in a year. My previous attempt went well; I got to around 430 before tapping out for the holidays. The challenge worked as a great excuse to force myself to get out and break from the rut of the same ‘ol, same ‘ol. Especially with work being remote now, I find it very easy to just sit inside all day and maybe head out to go to the same spots to pick up lunch. My level of inactivity this year was pretty bad and this’ll be a good kick in the butt to get out there and explore the world more.

The funny thing about this challenge - which I invite everyone else to attempt, even if it’s just 100 new things or one new thing a week, or whatever you’re comfortable with - is that one of the first things that people do when they hear about it is try to litigate the rules. It’s crazy to me how people feel the need to put their own mark on something that has nothing to do with them. It’s my challenge! If you do it, it’s YOUR challenge, nobody else needs to judge it. If it gets you out of the house or helps you expand your world in some way, it’s a win!

As for rules, I don’t have a ton of set rules but there has to be some sort of time investment for a new thing to count. For instance, for music, I count concerts of bands I’ve never seen live before but not new songs. I didn’t count albums last year and probably still won’t this time but I could see how others would allow it. For a TV show to count, I need to watch at least 5 episodes. For bars, I need to stay for about an hour. One odd one is that I counted new shoe brands but not new clothing brands. I just feel like there’s a bigger difference when it comes to shoes. But I’d need to wear the shoes for a good week before counting them. Books have to be completed to count. When it came to food products, I played it by ear. New hot sauces counted; if I just bought a different brand of steak or chicken wings, I didn’t count it.

The other good thing about this challenge is that it promotes travel because there’s no better way to knock out a ton of new things a day than to go to a different city. Even a nearby town you never visit offers a lot of opportunities to knock out New Things.

The one warning I’d give to anyone attempting this is to not get TOO focused on it. There were times when I first did it that I’d get annoyed with friends if they wanted to go to one of our usual spots because IT’S NOT SOMETHING NEW! Especially near the end of the year, the challenge was adding a little agita to my life, which is why I tapped out; that’s the opposite of what the challenge is supposed to do. So if you start the challenge and it feels like a burden, I’d recommend dialing down the amount of new things you want to try or change the timeframe up. We’ve all got so much going on in our lives; this is supposed to add fun, not another annoyance. (Honestly, 500 is probably too aggressive but hey, not reaching that number isn’t really a failure if the challenge gets me to try a lot of new things.)

The hope is that I’ll keep blogging and keep tally of my new things here.

Anyway, everyone is invited to join the challenge or create their own in 2025!